


Fireside Candles

by soreddieforit



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sad Ending, Sad and Happy, joshler - Freeform, times are tough, winter is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:12:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soreddieforit/pseuds/soreddieforit
Summary: fire and ice





	Fireside Candles

Lazy, smiling lips were pressed together to form somewhat of a kiss. Two bodies radiating heat, softly pressed against each other; a strong contrast against the cool sheets. This was the definition of innocence, nothing more than Sunday kisses. Noses nuzzled, giggles a loud interruption to the almost silent room. The sweet smell of boy and fireside candle filled their noses as they deeply inhaled. And Tyler believed that he was finally happy.

Boys are messy. Hazy Sunday gardening turned to a water fight ended with two messily soaked boys laying on their trampoline. Josh and Tyler were opposite, Josh was fiery hot, the water being a pleasant feeling against his skin. Tyler had his soaking body lying across the bouncy surface with the sun yearning to reach his skin, and yet he was still freezing. He pouted, Josh laughed and promised warmth, kisses, and fireside candles. Tyler turned and let the sun warm him, Josh was still laughing, but Tyler could sense his apologeticness. And Tyler believed that he wasn't a waste of space.

Depthless skies and twinkling stars and burning fireside. A Sunday night spent absorbing the beauty of the world. Nature being a background noise as hushed voices described what they perceived as art, both depicting each other through poetic words. Laying on a soft blanket with his inamorato in the middle of a vast field was all that Tyler ever needed. Josh made him grasp the idea that he was himself, and himself was utterly beautiful. And Tyler believed that he was better.

That Was Summer.

This Is Winter. 

Exhausted eyes forced themselves open and aching pain filled heads. Blankets not aiding the cold sheets left behind by a body that was there during the depths of the night. Ice cold rooms and a lonely fireside candle. Screaming at voices heard in the silent winter air. And Tyler believed he was getting worse.

Afternoons filled with two bodies at a counter. One eating and one not. Tyler told Josh he wasn't hungry. Josh knew he was. He knew by the way his ribs showed when he was shirtless. He knew by the way new raised red slashes appeared on his wrists every night. He knew by the way that the fireside candle wasn’t lit. He knew by the way he would talk to himself, and then laugh. But there was no more genuine laughter, only bitter, spiteful faked chuckles. The voices told Tyler noxious things. And Tyler believed the voices.

Sharply inhaling wouldn’t ease his burning bodies agony. The only product of inhaling was ice cold lungs and a burning throat as Tyler and Josh sprinted on the side of the lake. Both consumed in their own music and minds as they ran. Tylers being to shut the voices in his head off, to prove to them that he could be skinny and beautiful and art. Josh's was to run away from reality. From his crumbling job, from his bills, and maybe from his broken boy, who was struggling behind him. It was his chance to run and he took it, running hard and long. 

And maybe Tyler did it on purpose, waiting for Josh to leave as he stared at the deep blue water filled with glacier sized chunks of ice. He imagined this moment graceful, he thought he would have the wind gently take him into the water, but instead, he threw himself in. Hard. Tyler felt his body enter the water, it was so cold that it immediately numbed his body. This was what he wanted, and he let himself have it, it was about time really, since he had been starving himself for so long. He allowed himself to become one with the water, breathing it in. Tyler's last thought: who would've thought, a crazy person and a dreamer in love. 

Josh was thinking about Tyler, and how blemished, yet beautiful they were together. That's what made him turn back for Tyler. But Tyler was already under and Josh was so tired. And just as the sun, that hazy Sunday afternoon, trying desperately to warm Tyler's pale skin spread across the trampoline. Josh was Tyler's sun. Pulling Tyler’s freezing body from the icy lake, clutching to Tyler, trying to warm him. Tired screams ripped through his lungs for someone to call an ambulance. Soon the ambulances were there. And Josh believed that Tyler would be okay.

Later that day, the fireside candle was smashed into pieces on the ground. 

And that was when Josh stopped believing.

**Author's Note:**

> im super mentally ill right now and this was written in 20 mins so pls excuse the shitty writing


End file.
